There I was... - Bait

... minding my own business, taking a nap, when...

There's just something not right about that woman

Bait

Of Hummingbirds and Neurosis - Bet

Bet: Is it safe?
Bait: Yes, its safe, I checked all around the feeder and there are no hummingbirds

Bet: Are you sure?  Those things are fast.
Bait: Yes, yes, I'm sure, I sat under it for an hour, no sign of any birds.

Bet: Those things aren't birds!  They hover around and stare at you with their evil beady eyes!
Bait: Well, they taste like birds, even if they don't have a whole lot of meat on them.

Bet: I'm not going back there until fall when they're gone... they can poke an eye out with their sharp little beaks, zooming round like maniacs.
Bait: I'm telling you, there aren't any around.

Bait: ... but I did see some grasshoppers....
Bet: GRASSHOPPERS??!??!!  I HATE those things... jumping all over, landing on you with their sticky little feet!

Bait: Watch out!  There's a hummingbird carrying a grasshopper!
Bet: WHERE????  WHERE????  IS IT ON ME????

Bait: hehehehe
Bet: You suck... that's not funny!  I'm not talking to you any more!