Saturday, 8 September 2012

Many Hats - Bet

Howdy Ho everybodies!  It's your non-roving, auntie, Pretty Curly Tail herding, bear watching, personal Musher bodyguard, Bet, here!

I thought I would list all of my various accomplishments and jobs because there has been some chitter chatter on the Facebooks about how I really need to be a baa baa sheepie thing herder type Border Collie... um, no.

I don't like baa baa sheepie things AT ALL!  This was one of the reasons why I washed out of baa baa sheepie things herding school.  They are EVIL.  Oh sure, swaddled in fleecy fluff they look so cute and cuddly and adorable (especially the young ones) but behind those big bulging eyes is nothing but pure EVIL.

For instance, here is my half-brother Don trying to avoid being stomped on by one of these cloven hooved demons

You can see more baa baa sheepie thing carnage at Ms. Jenny's blog

I mean HOLY PATOOTY it's like stompy mooses only worse because these things get airborne and come out from the sky at you!  Who wants to deal with that?  Seriously!!!

I have enough duties here at North Wapiti to keep me occupied, thank you very much.  I've tried the baa baa sheepie thing stuffs and things, so I've been there and done that... but how many Border Collies can say they've done these things:

1.) Herded sled dogs!

The Pretty Curly Tails are faster, smarter, and have pretty sharp teeths and it's my job to make sure they stay on the trails, don't go running off, and mind their manners.  This is much more challenging than herding potential scarves and sweaters into a little square pen.  Plus, when Pretty Curly Tails stomp on you, it tickles.

2.) Bear Lookout

If you look closely, you can see me behind my camouflage
How many Border Collies can say that they are responsible for making sure bears don't eat their people?  Huh?  Anybodies?  What?  No other Border Collies?  That's what I thought!  Yeah, I have to go out in the middle of the woods with my Musher and make sure she can pick berries and stuffs and things and not get eaten or stomped.

I have to be ever vigilant to make sure those sneaky sneaky bears don't sneaky sneaky up on us to steal our berries... and eat us.

Look at my ferocious hackles!
When the bears do show up, I have to make sure I activate my awesome ninja Border Collie skills, puff up really big to scare them, and tell the Musher that it's time to vamoose!

Most of the time my awesome display of ferocious hackle raising and scary growling will scare away most icky Musher eating things and I can give her the all clear, but sometimes we have to retreat... I always make sure I'm in front of the Musher to clear a path for her.

3.) Personal Musher Body Guard

How many of you Border Collies go EVERYWHERE with your human to make sure she stays safe?  Hmmm?  Still waiting for a response.

I go EVERYWHERE with the Musher to make sure nothing harms her (except places that require stupid quarantine stuffs and things) and so I can taste all of her food to make sure it hasn't bee poisoned.

I would advise you not go near that water Musher, looks mosquitoey
I also go along on shopping trips because (and this is just between you and me) until I came around, the Musher had NO CLUE on how to accessorize and pick out matching ensembles. 

This is the proper way to sniff car air, not lolling out of the vehicle where bugs smack you upside the face
4.) Mentor

How many of you actually mentor Pretty Curly Tails so they become show champions and Iditarod finishers?  Eh?  What?  I can't hear you... because that would be NONE OF YOU!  I spend a lot of time teaching the puppies how to act in the show ring and the ins and outs of sled pulling and stuffs and things.

No! No! No!  Don't just stick your tongue out, curl it around and under like this
So, for all of you that think that I'm missing out on doing the job that I was born to do, I just wanted to let you know that what I do now is what I was born to do, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Besides, how many Border Collies get to relax on the deck with the Musher after a rousing day of sled dog training, puppy training, berry picking, nature walking, and body guarding...

In their very own stylish Ugg booties.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

- Bet


Jenny Glen said...


thecrazysheeplady said...

Ditto :-)

mgailt said...

Oh Bet ... what would the Musher EVER do without you? Soooo talented!

Sarah said...

OMG! the ugg booties!!!

Lisa Myers said...

What a hoot! Loved the story & pics, especially the Uggs!!!